I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Terrible idea I love it
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
