she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
