I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
