Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just blew my weed a kiss
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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