is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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