I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
