That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
