my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
