I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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