I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
