Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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