Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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