God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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