so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
