that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize