I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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