both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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