cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
