you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize