He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
my liver is dry heaving
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
