Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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