I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
false alarm, still single
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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