i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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