I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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