Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
