I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My vagina just clenched in fear
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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