I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
