I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
