Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
