Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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