Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
