I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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