Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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