ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
