Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
