She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
As shirtless as possible
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I can't turn off my feet"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
