Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
