Where is the hickey?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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