I must be too annoying 4 u.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
