You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
wow bdsm is so cute
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
