She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Sext me about skeletons
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
