you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
