Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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