YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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