What did we do last night that was yellow?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
