my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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