I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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