Is it normal to miss your booty call?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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