cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
