farters have to be the big spoon...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
