I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
